“Well, darkness has a hunger that’s insatiable
And lightness has a call that’s hard to hear
And I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it
I’m crawling on your shores…” Closer to Fine: Indigo Girls
Last night I was with a friend and he said to me, “You have to experience the darkness to know what the light is.” A light bulb went on in my head and I jumped with joy! I had been inspired to write a new post. Thanks for that, this one is for all of us who have danced in the darkness and still managed to find the light in the end.
We all take journeys in life and sometimes those journeys lead us into dark and dangerous places but for the lucky ones, you can make it through with nothing more than a few battle wounds. Sometimes, however, those travelling are not so fortunate and they are forever lost in the darkness; I send light energy their way whenever I can.
When you are in the dark and that’s all that you know; that’s all you can see and it’s all you want. It consumes you. Your every move, thought, and word; the darkness has corrupted you. But when you’ve been lulled to sleep with a smile on your face in the darkness it’s hard to find comforts in things that bring out the light (or Truth). When you have to stand up and walk away from the darkness because it’s been chewing on your soul a little too long it’s not going to be an easy break; it never is. But you have to know that there is more out there, you have to know deep down that even though you can’t see the light, you can feel for it. Reach your arms out and walk until you feel the light warming your pale skin.
The same light you are shadowed from everyday, the same light that you are “protected” from, the same light that is rumored will only burn you; you know better. Hide your eyes from the lies the darkness will craft with ease, it’s how the darkness gets bigger and breeds. Turn your back and search for the light because I can tell you from experience that the sacred flame burns the brightest in the darkest of places.
Once you taste the light you have all but removed your shadow that still holds onto the residue of the darkness. It will never leave you and maybe that’s a blessing or a curse but it’s there to remind you of your past and how far you’ve come since the day you were nothing but shadows.
The darkness is a funny thing; it can’t ever be light and it knows this. It wakes each day knowing that until each and every flame has been extinguished it will never have the power it craves. The darkness eats the light inside of us we were born with and once that light it gone, it’s only a hop, skip, and a jump away from thinking that we were born into/from the dark.
I am here to clarify, we are not. Light will always shine brighter and prevail in the end. The fight continues and people are lost to the darkness everyday. So for all of us who have stared the darkness right in her cold eyes, felt the lies on our skin giving us a new feeling of sin, danced hand in hand with the dark, ate, slept, prayed, and loved in the circle of darkness; the light is out there and it is good.
Once you find the light you will know because everything before that has no other place to hide but the dark. You will know that, however difficult your journey was, you made it out to the other side. You will be proud of yourself for being so strong and able to guide others who are still wandering lost in the darkness.
When I look back on my past and all the time I spent in the dark, it reminds me of being in a trance state; you know blurred by shadows and mysterious. It’s like I can see every moment with the darkness replayed like an old black and white movie but there’s no sound. I just see images and shapes and sometime I just remember parts of Dayz spent devoted to the dark.
I remember the night I wanted Iron Justice and nothing could get in my way. I was shown something that rocked my soul and I wanted to see it brought to light. I wanted blood and justice but I had been lied too. I wanted justice for something that had never even happened. I was ready to lay my life on the front line of battle to see that the darkness had her justice. Thank the Goddess that soon there after I was shown the light. Along with the light that warmed all the parts of me the darkness had frozen over, I was also shown the Truth. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I had to dance in the darkness to ever appreciate all that is the light.
I know now that even though you don’t understand why you’re on the path that you’re on sometimes, maybe there’s a divine reason behind it. I know that there’s usually a test before a lesson and nice is different than good.
When the sun rises in the sky I know that the light within me is still burning just as bright as ever. It’s been a year filled with sunny dayz and genuine moments and I am thankful to be in the light.
We all experience the darkness in different ways at different times but we can all survive. My friends are proof of this; she’s been through more than her share of heartbreak and lies, he trusted her for five years and was made to be a fool, she lived for her family and was kicked to the streets, he never thought anyone cared so he never did either, she was just being young and free until one night changed her life forever. If you have been lost in the dark then know that you are not alone. If you are still stuck in the life draining grasp of the dark this is for you, the light is just ahead and we are all here for you if you should ever need it.