My search for her soul was longer than she knew. I was nearly 18 and still firmly planted in my thoughts of graduating high school. I can recall the moment I was told her name. It resinated within me, something small inside told me to go forth and seek her out. I wasn’t in any position to do so. The thought itself seemed crazy, “find this woman, you’ve never met, and know her” well maybe I am crazy but in a good way.
Shortly after she poped up again and again within different circles of my friends. I had still yet to listen to my gut and go forth. Honestly, I was scared. My mind only filled with “what ifs” and not clarity. I am bold but this was something I had no idea how to approach. I had never felt something so powerful inside me; pulling at my courage and boldness. I was never in the right place at the right time either, the first time I actually laid eyes on this force was with friends and I was looked over in a crowd of sheep. Only for an instant did we cross paths.
It was nearly a year later, after dropping out of school, moving around, dealing with life, and finding love did I finally make it over for a beer.. And let me tell you that was one of the best Budwisers I’ve ever had. I came barefoot, I shook my nerves off in the car and proceeded to her door. I could feel the magic I had felt almost two years before.
Since that moment my life has been blessed in more ways than I can count and I’m good at math. She is my family in all sense of the word. Her words she writes seem so precious like they were carved into stone and passed down from each of the last generations, careful not leave out or change. She has helped me remember what it’s like to be raised right and to be proud i’m from the south. Now more than ever she is not only helping us plan our dream wedding she is marrying us.
I can only imagine as the universe has pushed me to find my mother; not blood but definitely kin, what else is waiting.