Love and Light/ Blood and Justice

“Well, darkness has a hunger that’s insatiable
And lightness has a call that’s hard to hear
And I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it
I’m crawling on your shores…” Closer to Fine: Indigo Girls

Last night I was with a friend and he said to me, “You have to experience the darkness to know what the light is.” A light bulb went on in my head and I jumped with joy! I had been inspired to write a new post. Thanks for that, this one is for all of us who have danced in the darkness and still managed to find the light in the end.


We all take journeys in life and sometimes those journeys lead us into dark and dangerous places but for the lucky ones, you can make it through with nothing more than a few battle wounds. Sometimes, however, those travelling are not so fortunate and they are forever lost in the darkness; I send light energy their way whenever I can.

When you are in the dark and that’s all that you know; that’s all you can see and it’s all you want. It consumes you. Your every move, thought, and word; the darkness has corrupted you. But when you’ve been lulled to sleep with a smile on your face in the darkness it’s hard to find comforts in things that bring out the light (or Truth). When you have to stand up and walk away from the darkness because it’s been chewing on your soul a little too long it’s not going to be an easy break; it never is. But you have to know that there is more out there, you have to know deep down that even though you can’t see the light, you can feel for it. Reach your arms out and walk until you feel the light warming your pale skin.

The same light you are shadowed from everyday, the same light that you are “protected” from, the same light that is rumored will only burn you; you know better. Hide your eyes from the lies the darkness will craft with ease, it’s how the darkness gets bigger and breeds. Turn your back and search for the light because I can tell you from experience that the sacred flame burns the brightest in the darkest of places.

Once you taste the light you have all but removed your shadow that still holds onto the residue of the darkness. It will never leave you and maybe that’s a blessing or a curse but it’s there to remind you of your past and how far you’ve come since the day you were nothing but shadows.  


The darkness is a funny thing; it can’t ever be light and it knows this. It wakes each day knowing that until each and every flame has been extinguished it will never have the power it craves. The darkness eats the light inside of us we were born with and once that light it gone, it’s only a hop, skip, and a jump away from thinking that we were born into/from the dark.

I am here to clarify, we are not. Light will always shine brighter and prevail in the end. The fight continues and people are lost to the darkness everyday. So for all of us who have stared the darkness right in her cold eyes, felt the lies on our skin giving us a new feeling of sin, danced hand in hand with the dark, ate, slept, prayed, and loved in the circle of darkness; the light is out there and it is good. 

Once you find the light you will know because everything before that has no other place to hide but the dark. You will know that, however difficult your journey was, you made it out to the other side. You will be proud of yourself for being so strong and able to guide others who are still wandering lost in the darkness. 

When I look back on my past and all the time I spent in the dark, it reminds me of being in a trance state; you know blurred by shadows and mysterious. It’s like I can see every moment with the darkness replayed like an old black and white movie but there’s no sound. I just see images and shapes and sometime I just remember parts of Dayz spent devoted to the dark. 

I remember the night I wanted Iron Justice and nothing could get in my way. I was shown something that rocked my soul and I wanted to see it brought to light. I wanted blood and justice but I had been lied too. I wanted justice for something that had never even happened. I was ready to lay my life on the front line of battle to see that the darkness had her justice. Thank the Goddess that soon there after I was shown the light. Along with the light that warmed all the parts of me the darkness had frozen over, I was also shown the Truth. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I had to dance in the darkness to ever appreciate all that is the light. 


I know now that even though you don’t understand why you’re on the path that you’re on sometimes, maybe there’s a divine reason behind it. I know that there’s usually a test before a lesson and nice is different than good.  

When the sun rises in the sky I know that the light within me is still burning just as bright as ever. It’s been a year filled with sunny dayz and genuine moments and I am thankful to be in the light.

We all experience the darkness in different ways at different times but we can all survive. My friends are proof of this; she’s been through more than her share of heartbreak and lies, he trusted her for five years and was made to be a fool, she lived for her family and was kicked to the streets, he never thought anyone cared so he never did either, she was just being young and free until one night changed her life forever. If you have been lost in the dark then know that you are not alone. If you are still stuck in the life draining grasp of the dark this is for you, the light is just ahead and we are all here for you if you should ever need it. 


By ladylucychaos

Sunshine Blog Award

I’ve been nominated for the Sunshine Award by (Camenae deWelles)

Thank you, lovely!

The rules:

Blog about your nomination and link back to the blogger who nominated you.

Answer 10 questions. (See below.)

Nominate 10 bloggers for the award and link them to the post. (I’m shooting for 3 or 5.)

Leave comments on your nominee’s blogs let them know about their award. (As soon as I get to 3 or 5.)

Questions. A little different. And good practice for continuing vagary on my part, right?

Who is your favorite philosopher?
Hmm, well now if I had to pick it’d be Plato. He was just too groovy not to like.

What is your favorite number?
Favorite number, easy question, 3. I was born on the 3rd and everything in my life seems to revolve around the number 3.

What is your favorite animal?
hmm, this one is tough… wolf, cat, owl, and fox. I guess all the animals that I feel connected with. Oh and duh Dragons.

What are your Facebook and Twitter URL’s? <— that’s my Facebook, twitter is well too lame for me.

What is your favorite time of day?
Early morning, watching the sunrise, the world wakes up with a cigarette and cup a coffee. Or Sunset. Both times seem to inspire me the most.

What was your favorite vacation?
Going out to my favorite spot in the woods with my bestie, with some fungus, and lots of water. The coyotes out there are sweet and sound amazing.

What is your favorite physical activity?
Watering the garden, planting, weeding, picking eggs outta my chicken coop, taking my doggies to the dog park. Or going out to the creek and drinking.

Favorite Non Alcoholic Drink?
There are non-alcoholic drinks!!! If all the rum is gone then I choose Coconut water.

What is your favorite Flower?
Gardenia, Jasmine, Moon flowers, and White Oleander. I can’t pick one of anything.

What is your passion?
Creating art, stories, blogs, passion between people, growing things, learning things, and family!!

So, time for the nomination part, I guess. Here goes:


Sweet sisterhood

This blog is for my sister. She has inspired me to write and I hope she doesn’t mind. First let’s go back in time about three years ago I was a junior in high school and fresh set on easy living.

One of my friends at the time had pulled me aside to introduce me to her, without really meaning too.
We had fun and I knew from the start of things she was different than any other friend.
One day I saw her pull out a book that sparked an interest between us. We followed that path together, finding sweet flower petal cups and magic in a college town.

We spent our time not in school but with mother nature, everyday if we could. She had a jeep that I swear could’ve flown us to the moon if we would’ve tried.
It took us to special place where corruption doesn’t live and you leave no trace. We had found a sanctuary and it was beautiful. I remember the rock maze like it was yesterday.
The way the stars lit up the whole sky and the coyotes howled to the blue moon.
This my readers, this place we would not have found on our own.

We would adventure past there and on to empty fields with setting suns, local pools underneath the changing skies, we saw the sun and moon fly into us and pass by. We took moments and saved them in time when we went to the metal bridge and there was that oh so cold whip of the fall winds. Wrapped in blankets and friends close by we returned to the sanctuary to watch those same stars fall from their place in the sky.

Not long after that graduation was in sight but things were getting worse for me so I dropped out to survive.
Time has kept spinning since then but now my younger sister is a mother and I love that baby like we’ve always been kin. Her place beside me hasn’t changed one bit, we are stronger yet.

She may not know how proud of her I am, but here it is. She may be young but she is strong. She is wiser than most parents and cares for only her child as she should. A mother who would fight anyone who’d try and tell her otherwise including quack job doctors.

She is a goddess in the kitchen and I can only hope she teaches me. She’s my sister maybe not blood but most defiantly magic. And without a doubt family. Sisterhood is the greatest gift other than motherhood.

She is the inspiration I need when I think i’m going through something rough. She has always been there to help me if I ever needed, or needed a voice to stand up for me when I wasn’t there to do it myself.

She and I have grown much since high school, we may have strayed from each other in the past through distance and time but our bond will always live.

She’s the kind of sister I can meet up with and feel like I never left. The one who understands me in more ways then just my words, when it only takes a look to convey a conversation, I know she’s my sister.

I know big momma likes to work wonders but I would have never imagined I’d be so lucky.

I thank my stars every night for such a blessed life. Sisterhood we’re thicker than thieves, we know each others fears and we know each others dreams.

No matter who tries to break us apart we are above all that, and face it, way too smart. Things will happen and things will be said but I’ll love my sister even after I’m dead.

This is true, if you have a sister, you probably feel like I do. This blogs for you, and you know who you are, my sweet sister remember i’m never too far.

Hazey )O(


Scary scary monster comin at me fast,
A very evil witch I’d say has passed.
Nightmare Oh Nightmare
Why do you come,
I’m only trying to rest here, don’t make me glum.

You don’t creep up slow one bit,
You’re like a raging wave crashing and shit.

I don’t enjoy those nights you steal, why can’t you see my dreams feel real.
Then when you leave me without a trace in sight, like a one night stand, a jerk in the night.

I am left with the visions of the past, to haunt me while you get the laugh.
My greatest fears you pick out like gold, you throw them in my face and tell me what isn’t bought or sold.

You play your games at my expense and I’m left feeling out of sense.
Nightmare Oh Nightmare
I wished you’d all just go away
Pack your baggage and flee the states.

Yet here I am the morning after with all these thoughts of chaos and disaster.
Some tears are shed when my fears are seen, irrational thoughts quickly turn mean.

I fight the pillow in bed not awake surely it’s a Nightmare instead, please be fake. I wake to see nothing was real but here I am giving you the spill.

This poem goes out to all my blessed family and friends for you should know my fears so maybe
my Nightmares will end.
I fear losing what special people I know, I fear losing touch and not being close. I fear not loving enough or doing the most.

We all have fears and there mine are, maybe if we get them out they won’t become who we are.

For now I must hope my Nightmares will end, until we meet again you slimy dark fiend.

I’ll Call That Hand!

Ever played Poker, knowing that your opponent is smiling with glee like they’re walking out with the loot of cash and candies in the middle of the table, but you know deep down it’s bullshit. So here’s me calling you out on your hand, you lay em down and you got a pair of twos. Yep. It was all bullshit.

Let me spin you a tell, if you’ve got a moment to spare.

In my community there is what she likes to call herself “A Bad Witch” now as to not offend right away she states this is a “joke.” Anyone laughing yet?

This is how I perceive her latest post, I’m calling bullshit. Common knowledge, She is a professor in english and I am a high school drop-out. I may not be able to dazzle you with big words but I smell bullshit a mile away and it don’t hurt me none laying it out for everyone to see, come on show me your cards! This witch has written a blog that finally inspired to me combat it. Now all of you are very smart and can take from this what you will.

I will even link her blog to mine so you may go back and read hers if you so wish. She has said that is she were truly the bad witch she would give you honesty, real-love, she’d make you sweat and poke you with a stick to watch you squirm. Now I don’t know what fairy-tales she got read as a yougin’ but I ain’t never heard so much crap in my small existence. She also goes on to state:

“The Good Witch is the one that gives you someone else’s ruby slippers and tells you that magic can and should be used to get all the candy in the candy store. The Good Witch brings you a metaphorical soda-pop and a snack, pacifies you with anesthetizing stories, gains your trust and promises to protect you from The Bad Witch.

All while running your prints.

That, my friends, is The Good Witch.”

Then she says:

“Most likely, The Good Witch is all touchy-feely and lulls you with a false sense of love: initially preferred to “tough love” for its saccharine charisma. But how nourishing is saccharine?

The Good (“Fun”/“Alluring”/“ Mollifying”) Witch only offers “false love” – that psudo-psychology term for the kind of relationship that poses as love but really asks for sacrifice in return for domination and abdication of selfhood, the kind of “love” that hampers personal growth out of fear of being surpassed, outdone, or abandoned, the kind of “love” that wants us to limit contact with others by making us doubt, mistrust or be suspicious of others. What’s more, it’s the kind of “love” that makes others doubt, mistrust or be suspicious of us.”

Well seems like to me your definitions of good and bad got all screwy somewhere down the rough road.

Here’s how she perceives the bad witch, if it were her.

“The Bad Witch is direct, will call you out on poor manners, will tell you when you’ve effed up (and will, likely provide a way to make it better), will make you very uncomfortable if you are lying, and will leave when your company has become trying. However, TBW will not deceive you. What you see is what you get. It’s all on the sleeves of her scary, scary black robe.”

Not to mention “If The Bad Witch is the one who tells you the truth,The Good Witch must be full of shite.”

Wow, now that the world is on its way to being upside down lets add a little more fuel to this girls fire.

“The Bad Witch will goad you into thinking for yourself. And then let you make informed choices, sometimes you will do this kicking and screaming. But she will be devoted to supporting your choices. That’s hard work – for both of you.

But where does that road lead? Not many are willing to travel alongside a Bad Witch down a tough road. 

The Good Witch, on the other hand, wants to tell you what to think, who to care about, what to do/read/eat, when to jump and just how high; then she will pat you on the head like a good puppy when you comply. This is a much easier road – for both of you.

But where does that road lead? Are you willing to follow a Good Witch down a false road?

Many are.

I pray for them.” 

And this my readers is how her blog ended. The way I see it, The Bad Witch will in a moment change her colors and play the cards of The Good Witch only to further trick and confuse us all. The Bad Witch will lie to your face, promise you all the candies in the candy store and manipulate you into killing a cat.

Now all of you know one of my main problems with this here blog was that I dont enjoy/use labels or stereotypes. I cringe when someone runs off screaming “Oh no black magic, bad witches, good witches. ..etc.” In my eyes there is no good or bad witch, rather a bad or good person, and if you had pure balance you would know they are one in the same. Magic is Magic, don’t deface it by labeling others as Good Witches or Bad or Evil or Lame. Be truthful say “that bitch is a bad person,” but please dont bring magic into it.

Now let’s look at this Bullshit hand one more time.

If my momma teaches me to cook a family dinner, feeds me, entertains my youth with tellings of her glory days as a wild-chile, lends me a place to sleep if ever needed, is there for me if I should ever need  an ear to listen, a hand to hold, or an asskicken to be delivered I know I can count on her. Does she sound like a bad person yet? No. Okay. According to *The Bad Witch* it does.

A mother who puts her family first, gives everything she can so at the end of the day when the sun sets she can relax in her rockin chair and share fried green tomato recipes, a woman who never tells you what do to, when to jump or how high, a woman who sweats love and asks nothing in return but respect. Yet still *The Bad Witch* says she must be fake.

Well hon I got news for you, you can’t fake love like this.

The road we travel is not smooth by any-means, it is rocky and full of hard times ahead but we oathed to one another to make that journey, to stick together when a bad witch posions an apple, when to bite our tongue and learn a little grace. To know, beyond all else to be who you are and do what makes you happy. And you know what I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Oh and please don’t pray for me. ( here’s the link I promised earlier)

Lost Souls Found


Two Souls

Held up by the world.

Nothing matters.

Nothing hurts.

Stars forever sparkle

In the dreams of the sky.

When the light goes away, 

The souls learn to fly.

No one can stop, No one will break,

Us from our love;

There’s somethings you can’t take.

No lies you will hear.

No worries caused by fear.

I love you and I’m forever near. 

By ladylucychaos

Moving on once upon a time…


My thoughts constantly changing, moving, shape-shifting; right before my eyes. 

Words I always believed,

Now are nothing but lies.

Relying on others with not shit left,

I’ve found my true friends,

And learned to only rely on myself. 

I’ll travel west with the wind.

Go and come as I please.

See where I fit in and always suit my needs.

My hearts been shattered,

Glue now holds it together.

When I get sad I see nothing but bad weather…

The trees I’ll seek for shelter,

The Sun will soak in my skin,

The Wind gives me direction;

Ever searching for happiness within.

My journey will be long but I know that I am strong. 


By ladylucychaos

Dazzle me

**Again this poem is another one from 2009**

Silly girl, Pretty Girl

Why do you do this to me?

My mind unravels as roots, it travels up and down

Screaming, searching, for something found. 

I want you however it may come.

I need to feel something constant and for this tree you have such a green thumb.

Hold me close, my leaves will never fall.

Kiss me how you want, I’ll shade you if you call. 

My mind is now a tree, my thoughts branch off and from here everything’s clear to me.

You’re the one who makes me happy and you’re all I want to see. 

By ladylucychaos

Missing You

This is a old poem for 2009 dont judge me it’s really old. And I was in a totally different place when I wrote it. 

~Missing You~

The distance has grown and

I miss you.

You never stop just to say “hey.”

I miss you.

Does this not effect you?

Because I miss you.

Never thought I could make it alone, I’m only barely hanging on.

I miss you.

He holds your hand and it tears me apart.

I miss you.

You kiss him and it breaks my heart.

I miss you.

You’re the only one I want and you’re not mine anymore. 

I miss you.

Have things really changed, do you no longer feel the same?

I miss you.

I’d rather be playing your games than longing to say your name.

I miss you.

Do you not see, how horrible this is on me?

I miss you.

Rescue me from all this pain, show me what’s behind your mask.

This is all I wanted, I want you back; 

So I needed to ask…

Do you miss me?

By ladylucychaos

Sonni and Hazey Dayz

Love lights my dayz, smoke enters us into a haze, leaving us to contemplate each phase.

With words we say, I’ll love you always.

The Sun sets here on the plains, as the moon peaks out to show her face. I love the night in every way.

Bring me your ear and I’ll spin you a tale, pour more wine and sit for a spell.

Bring me closer to things of wonder, wiser and younger. 

I talked to a tree and she said listen hard, my leaves may fall but I still stand tall. 

Don’t trip over your roots they show you where you came from.

Fire or Hail I’m still a tree. 

Be stable, strongly stand up for what you believe and be constant.

One day we’ll grow into mighty trees until then they are my shade, and I am grateful. 

I’ll read your leaves and grow just like I should. I’ll never stray for this is my Foresthood. 

Moon Chile you speak within me open up and pour out a sea. 

Fly with me over the moon, take my hand, we’ll use my broom. 

Faster than lightening, Louder than a Black Cat’s cry, We will be one and soar past our forgotten sky.

All your craziest dreams could come true, if that’s what you want I’ll show you too.

 As these words like string come un-done, I repeat what I mean, love is my light even in the darkest night. 

No fear in these eyes, they’ve lived before, they know all the lies. 

By ladylucychaos